Letters to the Editor

Letter to the Editor, Nurturing Potential, dated April 30, 2005

Sir,

In the current issue Pamela J. Ball writing on the topic 'Regret' asserts: Once you have uncovered your motive, or hidden agenda, then you can look to the past to uncover where this arises from, and deal with it.  When you are able to let go of the bad feeling, you will be able to adjust your behaviour accordingly.

In this single paragraph not only does she provide a means to freedom, but also the cage that so often perpetuates enslavement. I agree with her wholeheartedly that to let go of a bad feeling, such as regret readily enables changes in behaviour.

But to claim that one needs to search for motives, hidden agendas, look at the past and attribute causes to such times seems at best misguided, and at worst an invitation to therapists, many of whom are no better than those pardoners of Chaucer's day.

" . . . from Berwick unto Ware,
Was no such pardoner in any place.
For in his bag he had a pillowcase
The which, he said, was Our True Lady's veil:
He said he had a piece of the very sail
That good Saint Peter had, what time he went
Upon the sea, till Jesus changed his bent.
He had a latten cross set full of stones,
And in a bottle had he some pig's bones.
But with these relics, when he came upon
Some simple parson, then this paragon
In that one day more money stood to gain
Than the poor dupe in two months could attain.
And thus, with flattery and suchlike japes,
He made the parson and the rest his apes.
But yet, to tell the whole truth at the last,
He was, in church, a fine ecclesiast.
Well could he read a lesson or a story,
But best of all he sang an offertory;
For well he knew that when that song was sung,
Then might he preach, and all with polished tongue.
To win some silver, as he right well could;
Therefore he sang so merrily and so loud."

Geoffrey Chaucer (From The Prologue to The Canterbury Tales).

If we are to take seriously the notion that we bring forth 'a' world, rather than 'the' world, as has been suggested by Gregory Bateson, Humberto Maturana and others, then agendas, past, present and future, causes can be nothing more of subsets of a greater reality to which we have no direct access.

But feelings we may access directly, and through choice choose to deny, or accept and transmute. Such feelings though are ours rather than the baggage of others, which some say we choose to carry unwittingly.

For example, when my neighbour invites me for drinks on Thursday in a very formal manner, and then on Thursday is not at home I may choose to be insulted, or choose to get on with my life as before, and see what transpires.

When she calls the next day and apologises saying come at once I do so graciously and have a thoroughly good evening drinking beer and schnapps. Had I chosen to be insulted such an evening would have been impossible.

My decision however wasn't fuelled by motive, hidden agenda, regret that I'd bothered to walk up the hill with my family to her house the previous evening. If there was a motive at all it was that of being engaged with life and enjoying some conversation over a few drinks.

The point being that although on Thursday both my neighbour and I acted in ways for which we might both attribute endless explanation, and or regret, it was our ability on Friday to, after all, be available to each other that counted.

And so to those therapists who espouse a universe comprised of cause and effect, rather than my multiverse comprised of choices I quote the great Chaucer once again.

"Why, you would have me kissing your old breeches,
And swear they were the relics of a saint,
Though with your excrement 'twere dabbed like paint.
By cross Saint Helen found in Holy Land,
I would I had your ballocks in my hand
Instead of relics in a reliquary;
Let's cut them off, and them I'll help you carry;
They shall be shrined within a hog's fat turd."
This pardoner, he answered not a word;
So wrathy was he no word would he say.
"Now," said our host, "I will no longer play
With you, nor any other angry man."
But at this point the worthy knight began,
When that he saw how all the folk did laugh:
"No more of this, for it's gone far enough;
Sir pardoner, be glad and merry here;
And you, sir host, who are to me so dear,
I pray you that you kiss the pardoner.
And, pardoner, I pray you to draw near,
And as we did before, let's laugh and play."
And then they kissed and rode forth on their way.

Geoffrey Chaucer (From The Pardoner's Tale in The Canterbury Tales).

Yours truly,

Thomas Ingoldsby Esq.

NOTE FROM EDITOR:

This letter arrived from a known source, but carried an unknown signature.  Nevertheless the "Ingoldsby" struck a chord and I turned to my bookshelves where I located a copy of the Ingoldsby Legends.  This book had been published in 1840 so it seemed somewhat unlikely that it, and the author of the letter, were one and the same person.

 I then checked the name on the Internet and learned that it was a pseudonym of Richard Harris Barham (died 1845) who allegedly "had a lively invention, a gift of creating suspense, and an unusually discerning sense of the ludicrous."

I believe it is not possible to copyright a pseudonym.  In any case a writer who has been dead for 150+ years is unlikely to complain.  I know the real identify of this contributor and believe the above description fits him pretty well, so I'll respect his wish and keep his true name secret.